Sunday, August 10, 2014

"Guardians Of The Galaxy": The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

From "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.Ca" film review site, Sneak Peek the good, the bad and the ugly in Marvel Studios' "Guardians Of The Galaxy":   

Michael Stevens for "The Good" : 

"As a comic book collector with several near mint runs of Marvel's "Guardians Of The Galaxy" (2008), there is no doubt I am a fan of this ambitious and impressive-looking film...

What is Good : 

"Art direction and production design.

"'Star-Lord' (Chris Pratt) taking out bad guys while hooked on a feeling.

"'Moonage Daydream' by David Bowie applied to a futuristic landscape.

"Michael Rooker as 'Yondu', popping out of the screen in 3D looking like a blue-skinned 'Merle' from 'The Walking Dead'.

"'Rocket Raccoon' (Bradley Cooper) as cute as a dancing dog.

"Zoe Saldana as 'Gamora', either in a fighting or seductive mood.

"'Groot' and his ET-like, spiritual  ability to channel higher powers.

"Lee Pace ('Halt and Catch Fire') as 'Ronan'.

"Dave Bautista delivering a refreshing low-key performance as 'Drax'..." 

Graf Orlok for "The Bad": 

"I was looking forward to an in-depth look at 'Peter Quill' aka 'Star-Lord' and the events leading up to his 'sex crime' criminal record for 'illegal manipulation of a Gramosian Duchess'...

What is Bad : 

"Aside from the odd 'dick' joke, (maybe an English 'Benny Hill' influence on the director) there was a cheap gag between 'Quill' and 'Rocket', with Quill suggesting if he were to use a black-light in his living quarters, it would reveal all sorts of personal hygiene splatter.

"Quill manages to get on top of Gamora, but only by accident after saving her. He even manages to lock lips. 

"And Gamora DOES get sweaty, with those luscious (green) lips.

Jane Doberman for "The Ugly":

"I dunno' who this movie was made for: kids brain-washed into buying plush dolls of 'deadly assassins' or the girlfriends of brain-dead adults who danced to some of the worst music that K-Tel ever sold on TV. 

What is "Ugly":

"Pratt was more 'Jack Burton' than 'Indiana Jones', but still no excuse for the atrocious acting. As an ensemble, I've seen more method in "Flesh Gordon Meets The Cosmic Cheerleaders".

"Why was Djimon Hounsou, the only black guy in the main cast, cast as a villain ?

"Skanky-looking killer 'Gamora' is about as appealing as a 'deadly assassin' can be. 

"Then there's 'Ronan' killing a guy by smashing his head in with a giant 'Universal Weapon'. Subtle touch.

"The 'troll' in Quill's sleeping quarters is not an original one, but a knock-off with an unfamiliar face .

"'Groot' also branches out into killing people by impaling them in multiples and shaking them around to make sure the wound is large enough, before he flings them off. 

"'Rocket' seems to have an orgasm before he goes into full battle-massacre mode.

'"Howard the Duck' looks as good as 'Richard Nixon' did in 'Watchmen'. Kudos but no cigar.

"Now I've got this 'Hooked On A Feeling' ear-worm thing in my head...yeesh !!! Only in Marvel Movies kids, only in Marvel Movies...

Click the images to enlarge...